Misadventures of Organization XIII
by Solexyn
Summary: This is a mini comedy series that my sister and I made up, with the Organization XIII. This is a behind the scenes look at what goes on at The Castle That Never Was. What you DIDN'T see in Kingdom Hearts.
1. Episode 1: Home Inspection

_Please keep in mind that I do **NOT** own any of the characters in Kingdom Hearts! I own nothing except for Steven! As much as I'd like to, I do **NOT **own Kingdom Hearts! This is the first episode of my mini series. Enjoy! 3  
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The day started out typically. Xemnas sat in his office researching and writing reports on Hearts and such. Later, he soon decided to take a break and closed his notebook before standing and walking toward his door when something caught his eye. He quickly turned and reversed himself to look at the calendar and stared at the day's date where it was marked _**"HOME INSPECTION!" **_which was circled in red. Xemnas' eyes widened and ran down the hall like a raving lunatic.

"The time is upon us! Organization Members, round up!" he called throughout the hall.

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Xemnas paced passed his followers at Crooked Ascension. He passed by each one who stood in rank.

"How foolish of me to let it slip my mind…" he started, stopping at Roxas and walking back down to number two, Xigbar. Axel, Organization XIII's number eight, looked at Demyx, the Organization's number nine. Saix, number seven and Xemnas' right hand, was the first to speak.

"What is it, Superior?" he demanded. Xemnas stopped and looked at his seventh follower. "The home inspector is to arrive here." At this, the members looked at each other in dismay. Xemnas went on as he walked back up the line of his followers. "All of you have one hour to get this place at its prime. One hour to clean this entire castle." At this news, several members groaned in complaint. Saix snarled at them to a hush. "_All_ of it?" asked Demyx whiningly.

"Yes, number nine, all of it. One floor for one person should be enough." Xemnas headed to Nothing's Call. "I will leave you to it. I suggest you get started. One, hour," he said before disappearing.

"Alright," started the pyro, Axel. "We gotta clean everything, right? OK, we gotta give out shifts." Saix rolled his eyes at this. Axel paced around. "Alright, we have to start with the Brink of Despair," said Axel as he continued to pace. "Demyx," he said and Demyx nodded before disappearing to clean his assigned place. "OK, Nothing's Call."

"I'm not gonna do it…" murmured Xigbar to Xaldin. Axel, looking at him, smiled.

"Xigbar, thank you for volunteering!" exclaimed Axel as he walked to him. "You'll clean it." Xigbar folded his arms and snorted.

"As if!" he said. "Get someone else to do it, 'cause I'm not going to." He said firmly. Axel shoved the broom against him. "Oh yeah you are. Get to it." He said and Xigbar went off to do his assignment.

Once the assignments were given, each member sought out to do their chore. All but one… Roxas glared at Axel. He didn't get anything to clean. "And what about _you_, Axel?" the small member asked. "What are you gonna do?"

Axel grinned and started toward Twilight's View.

"I'll supervise," he said. Saix grabbed Axel's hood aggressively and pulled him back roughly.

"Like hell you will!" he snarled. Axel, standing there in Saix' grip, was unmoved by his aggressiveness toward him. "You're going to help out! And since you think you can weasel your way out of it, you clean the outside of the castle!" he snapped at the pyro. Axel sighed irritably. "Won't that be fun?" Saix grinned wickedly. Axel stared forward dully.

"Oodles…" Axel said apathetically. As the day went on, the members continued to clean as told. Demyx scrubbed down the Brink of Despair. Xigbar swept the floors of Nothing's Call. Dust flew into his mouth, making him cough, he hated this job. Xaldin mopped the floors of Crooked Ascension. Luxord cleaned the stairs of Twilight's View.

Zexion dusted the library. Toward the end one shelf he saw a brown leather book completely covered in dust. He went to it and pulled it out slowly, his eyes widening. The title of the book was completely obscured from the thick dust that covered it. Zexion opened the book and four moths flew out of it. He moved his hands and moved the book away from him, slightly startled by the moths.

Marluxia was to clean the windows. He floated and sprayed each window and wiped it after. At one window that Marluxia was about to wash, stood Xigbar who pressed his face against it, making ridiculous faces much to the Graceful Assassin's annoyance. Before spraying the window, thinking that Marluxia would just continue his work, Xigbar continued. Instead of just continuing, Marluxia suddenly opened the window and suddenly sprayed the household cleaning product right in the Freeshooter's face. Xigbar yelled and held his good eye before falling over, blinded, while Marluxia merely closed the window and continued his chore. Lexaeus, the fifth member of Organization XIII and one of the strongest, was to scrub down The Hall of Empty Melodies. Larxene was stuck in the kitchen and was to wash a tower of dishes.

Vexen hosed down Naught's Skyway, as the Creeper Nobodies played down it like a waterslide.

Saix cleaned out Proof of Existence. When it came time for Demyx's room, the first thing he noticed was that all was suspiciously clean… or was it? Saix walked to the closet and stared at it for a moment. Slowly and cautiously he reached for the doorknob and opened it. A typhoon of dirty laundry, garbage, and torn comic books fell out of the closet and onto the Luna Diviner, burying him completely. Several moments later, the now angry, Saix popped his head from the pile and on his face was a week old slice of pepperoni pizza. He yanked off the piece of food and yelled, "Demyx," he growled angrily.

Axel cleaned the castle's exterior. He scrubbed angrily on the outer wall of the castle and muttered frustratingly to himself. "Stupid Saix… Thinks he can go around ordering people just because he's the Superior's bitch! Ugh!" he scrubbed more roughly as his anger increased. His elbow knocked the bottle of soap off the castle and all the way down, and it landed on Demyx's head.

"OW-!" the Nocturne looked to his side to see what had fallen on his head. "Soap?" he demanded and looked up. "Huh, I needed this." He smiled, placed the bottle next to him and continued washing the walkway leading to the castle. Axel continued muttering angrily and reached for his bottle of soap. When he found that it wasn't there, he looked around and then at the edge of the castle at Demyx. "Great…" he spat in a very annoyed tone. "Demyx!" he yelled. "Demyx!" the Nocturne looked around at the sound. "Demyx, up here!" called Axel. Demyx looked up and waved happily.

"Hey, Axel!" he said. Axel sighed. "Demyx, I need my soap back!" Demyx looked to the bottle that landed on his head.

"You mean this?" he asked. "Yeah, pass it over," Axel replied. "Um…can I use it for a little bit?" asked Demyx looking back up at the member that came before him. "Demyx," Axel started. "No really, it's just for a little bit, I'll give it back, I promise!" he said. Axel rolled his eyes and sighed irritably. "Alright, fine. But hurry up!" Demyx nodded and continued his work. Minutes passed and Axel still waited. And waited, and waited, and waited until he finally looked back down at Demyx. "Are you done yet?!" he snapped.

"Almost!" he called back. "You said that ten minutes ago!" he shot back. "Don't worry, this is the last bit, I promise!" Demyx said. Axel growled and sat back and waited. When five more minutes passed by, Axel's patience disintegrated. "GIVE ME THE DAMN SOAP, DEMYX!" he yelled, looking down at him. "OK, I was done anyway." Demyx said calmly and tossed the bottle with effort so that Axel could get it. Axel grabbed it but it felt unusually light to him. He looked at the bottle to find that it was completely empty. He growled angrily. "Damn it, Demyx!" he sighed. "Hey, wait!" he said in realization, "Looks like I'm done." He grinned and tossed it, the bottle landed on Demyx' head again. "OW-!" he yelped.

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The hour was up. All of the members stood in rank at Crooked Ascension. Xemnas arrived slightly impressed by the cleanliness of his castle.

"Well, this castle looks passable." He walked down the line. He looked toward the entrance to fine a man in a suit, sunglasses and a clipboard. Demyx looked in discomfort and whispered to Axel. "Oh, no," he said worriedly. "He has a clipboard!" Axel rolled his eyes, "Oh, scary…" he said with strong sarcasm and looked at the inspector.

"Xemnas, I'm Steven. Sir, if I may, just inspect the others." The inspector looked to the leader. Xemnas nodded once and the inspector looked at Xigbar and took off his glasses. Xigbar stared apathetically back at the man and blinked. The inspector stared at the Freeshooter's eye patch. "What's with the eye patch?" Xigbar was thrown back by the question while everyone else gapped. As the inspector moved to the next member, Xigbar made one of his snipers appear in his hand and aimed it. Xemnas grabbed his shoulder to stop him. Steven looked up and down at Xaldin and wrote on his clipboard. "Have you ever heard of a razor?" he asked and walked to Vexen. Everyone gapped again and Xaldin took a lancer and prepared himself to throw it. Again, Xemnas stopped him. He looked at Vexen and merely said before writing it down. "One eye is bigger than the other." Vexen's eyes widened and he glared darkly at the man who mocked him. The inspector moved to Lexaeus. He eyed the Silent Hero. "Mmph," was all he grunted before moving on to Zexion, writing on his clipboard. Zexion stared with his usual stare. "Well," he said and moved the hair that cloaked his face. "Issues have we?" he asked writing it down and moving on to the next strongest compare to Xemnas and his right hand, Saix.

He eyed the Luna Diviner. Saix merely stared back with his cold stare that showed the rage and savagery that he had to hide away. Steven looked at the X scar that he had on his face and just continued to stare. Saix, growing angry, knowing what exactly he was staring at, snarled something dark. The inspector, spooked, moved on to the Pyro-kinetic, Axel. Axel looked at the inspector apathetically. The inspector wrote on his clipboard.

"Hmph… you look like an over-spiked clown." He moved on to Demyx. Axel glared darkly and prepared to snap his fingers, while the other seven that came before him prepared to strike the inspector for his comments. He moved to Demyx. Demyx stood usually and blinked his eyes curiously. "Smile," he said and Demyx did as he was told. As usual… the inspector made a face and grunted before moving on to number ten. He nodded and moved on to the Graceful Assassin. Marluxia stared at the man. "Muscular for a woman," the inspector said. Marluxia glared while the others gapped and Axel snickered darkly. "That would be because I'm _not._" The Graceful Assassin replied sharply. The man looked strangely at him before moving to Larxene. Larxene looked at the man as if an insect. "Blonde, blue round eyes…You look like a giant roach." He said, writing his words down under her name. Larxene growled and glared, taking out her knives while he moved to Roxas. Roxas glared at the man and stood at his tallest. The man looked down at the boy and flashed an amused look.

"A little too young to be in a group of grown men, don't you think?" he asked the Key. Roxas glared more. "Yeah, so what?" he demanded. The man chuckled. "What's your name?" he asked. Roxas kept the same expression.

"Roxas," he said firmly. The man wrote on his clipboard and walked toward Twilight's View, looking around. Xemnas walked to Axel's side.

"Number eight," he began. "I want you to give him…the 'tour.'" The Seeker of Darkness commanded. Axel gave a Cheshire cat smile and bowed. "Oh, it'd be my pleasure, Superior." He walked to the inspector. "So, Steven, can I call you Steve?" Axel asked as he placed his hand on his shoulder. Steven looked at him awkwardly. "No," he replied. "So, Steve, how 'bout a grand tour of our lovely castle?" the redhead asked. "Uh, I'd rather not…"

Axel places an arm around Steven and grinned. "Hey, come on, all the better to get your inspection underway right?" "Well, I guess it would make for notes…" Steven said.

"Great, hey, I feel like we're friends already." Axel said in an over exaggerated friendly tone. "Well, shall we?" Axel stood grinning again, like a Cheshire cat. Steven nodded and followed. "This is the Grand Hall; it'll take you just about _anywhere._ But, the one I wouldn't recommend is the diagonal hall." Axel said as he walked into a hall with five halls. Steven looked down each one. "What's down the diagonal hall?" Steven asked. Axel placed a hand up, to silence him. "We prefer _not_ to talk about it." Axel said chuckling. In Twilight's View, which came after the Grand Hall, Axel and Steven walked the steps, leading to the Hall of Empty Melodies. "Here we have what we call, 'Twilight's View." Axel stretched his arms out, showing the area. Steven took notes and observed closely. The two proceeded onward. "And this is the Hall of Empty Melodies… Shh-!" Axel stopped suddenly, leaving a confused inspector. "Hear that?" the redhead asked. Steven listened and heard nothing. He shook his head. "It's the melody of emptiness." Axel grinned and continued. "Moving on," he said. Passed the Hall of Empty Melodies, came Naught's Skyway. "Here we have, Naught's Skyway." Steven looked around and wrote down notes. They walked up the walkways leading to the second floor of the Hall of Empty Melodies. After that, they continued onto Proof of Existence. Axel looked at Steven and grinned as he led the inspector to the portals.

"And this is where we train and sleep." Axel pointed to the portals as Steven wrote into his clipboard. "Hmm," he sighed. The two continued into Ruin and Creation's Passage. Axel stopped and stretched his arms. "This is Ruin and Creation's Passage," The redhead said and continued toward the edge. Steven followed and froze at the edge. Axel continued and the floors appeared under his feet. "Don't worry, you won't fall." Axel chuckled and continued as the inspector followed carefully. Soon after, the two made it to the final area of the castle.

"This is the Alter of Naught." Axel pointed to giant heart-shaped moon. "Where you get lovely view of Kingdom Hearts," Steven stared in awe at the moon and wrote on his clipboard. Axel walked near the edge and stared. "Hey, Steve, from here, you get and even _better_ view." Steven walked at stood at the edge.

"And so, concludes our tour, I hope you got as much fun out of it as I'm going to." Axel said with that same Cheshire cat smile. Steven shot a confused look before the redhead shoved him off the castles alter. Axel looked down and watched the inspector as he fell. "So sorry about that, don't forget to tell your friends about our castle. Don't call us…we'll call you, if you ever get back up that is." Axel turned and walked back down.

Demyx and Xigbar stood outside as they watched the inspector's free fall. Demyx was the first to speak.

"Hey, don't you think we should go help him?" the Nocturne asked. Xigbar shook his head. "Nah, besides, by the time we actually get to him, he's body parts will be all over the Brink of Despair." Demyx groaned whiningly. "AW! I just washed that!"

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Please remember that I don't own Kingdom Hearts or it's characters! Please leave review and tell me what you think! Hope you got as many laughs as I did writing it. NO Flames! Please!


	2. Episode 2: For The Love of Cupcakes

_This is the second episode! I wrote this myself! Hope you enjoy it! Cupcakes! Yummy!

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Zexion paced back and forth in front of the oven. He was waiting for his cupcakes to finish. Sadly, he was the cook for the Organization and was preparing for the next day's brunch. Once the cupcakes were done, Zexion frosted them and decorated them. He remembered the order he had gotten from Xemnas earlier that day. "_Don't allow anyone to eat them until tomorrow." _The violet haired man knew that that would be no easy task… Fighting against the forces of pigheadedness was never easy, _especially _when it was with more than one member. Once the Schemer was finished, he placed them into the refrigerator and left.

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Later that night, hungry and craving for something sweet, Demyx walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and saw the tray of cupcakes. "Awesome! Just the thing I needed!" he smiled and took the tray out and walked out. Demyx walked to the relaxation room where there was a television, couch, and chairs; a table where Luxord and the others play cards, (though they always lost) and a pool table. Demyx opened the door and walked in.

"Hey guys, look what I found! Cupcakes!" said Demyx as he showed the tray to his fellow members. Everyone was present with the exception of Zexion, Saix, Xemnas of course, and Lexaeus. Each took one and began eating them. Zexion entered the relaxation room and his eyes widened as he saw what the others were consuming. "What are you doing?!" he snapped and walked to them. All of the others looked at him.

"Hey, Zex, you _have_ to try one, they're great!" exclaimed Demyx as he took another bite. Zexion glared in shire anger. "You idiot!" he shot back. "Those were supposed to be for tomorrow! Xemnas gave me specific orders _not_ to let you have them until then!" All of them stared at him. Zexion looked at Xigbar and gapped. "Tell me you're not eating the pistachio cupcake…" he pleaded. Xigbar looked at it and nodded. Zexion slapped his forehead. "That was for Saix!" Xigbar dropped the cupcake at this and spat it out. Everyone knew how Saix would get if they ate what was rightfully his… Zexion's head turned sharply to the door. "It's the Superior!" he said. Everyone went into a panic.

"What do we do?!" asked Demyx panicking. "Get rid of them!" said Axel as he shoved the entire cupcake into his mouth. He began choking on it and Roxas preformed the Heimlich remover. Axel coughed it up and it stuck to the wall. Xigbar unzipped his jacket partially and stuck the cupcake in his jacket and zipped it up again. Demyx opened the window and threw his out. It fell all the way down and landed on a Heartless' head. It twitched and stared at it; it leaned in to take it when it was snatched by a Dusk. Roxas shoved his in his pants, of all places and squirmed at the feeling. Marluxia lifted a Ficus by the roots and placed the cupcake in the pot before placing it back, making the Ficus lean slightly. Luxord finished his before wiping his mouth of all the evidence. Xaldin hid his behind the TV. Axel took the cupcake off the wall and threw it away. Once the cupcakes were discarded, everyone sat around casually as Xemnas walked in. He looked at his followers suspiciously.

"Hey, Superior!" said Demyx with a nervous smile on his face. Xemnas eyed all of his members and blinked.

"Number VI," he started and Zexion looked at him nervously. "Yes?" "I hope everything is in place for tomorrow." Xemnas said as he noticed some of the nervous expressions. Zexion nodded calmly. "It is, as you asked," he replied and Xemnas nodded before exiting. Everyone let out a huge sigh of relief. Xigbar unzipped his jacket and pulled out the now smashed cupcake and sighed. Roxas squirmed more and groaned lightly.

"Guys… I think I have a rash." The blonde said and squirmed more. Axel sighed and slumped back in his chair. Zexion groaned angrily. "It took me forever to make all of those!"

"W-well…maybe you can make more." Demyx chuckled nervously. Zexion shot a dark glare at the Nocturne and Demyx hid behind Axel. "It took me all day! I don't have that kind of time!" he snapped. "Ok, I have an idea," Axel started. "We can stall until you're done with the new ones." Zexion blinked at the pyro.

"How?" he asked. Axel grinned his Cheshire cat grin.

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The next day, the group stood outside the dining hall. "Ok, you all know the plan," said Axel, the others nodded. "B-but what if it doesn't work?" asked Demyx nervously. "It's gonna work, trust me." Everyone sat in the castle's dining hall. All was quiet and Xemnas looked at his members and noticed that they all ate unusually _slowly._ Saix watched and began to grow impatient. He slammed his fist on the table. "What's wrong with you all?! Can't you eat faster?!" he snapped harshly and everyone froze. In the kitchen, Zexion worked frantically on the batters for the cupcakes. Sweat formed on his forehead as he continued. He stirred agitatedly and poured the mixtures into the pans. He placed them into the oven and waited and waited. In his mind he rushed and rushed for the pastries to finish in a short amount of time. Outside at the table, everyone continued to stall by eating slowly. One of the rules was that no one was to have the next course until _everyone_ was finished. Saix sat, his fingers tapping on the table impatiently. A low snarl escaped from his throat. About 15 minutes passed and Zexion was decorating the cupcakes. He rushed and still managed to make them look presentable. Zexion knocked on the door 3 times and Lexaeus got up politely before walking into the kitchen to aid Zexion with the cupcakes.

The two walked out with the trays of cupcakes and Xemnas looked at his sixth follower. He looked completely run down as if he could collapse any second. The two gave out the cupcakes and Zexion took his seat, his head drooping in exhaustion. Everyone stared at Zexion, and the Schemer's head fell onto the table with a loud thud. Everyone froze at this. Xemnas looked at the others suspiciously. Everyone eat their cupcakes nervously. "What happened?" Saix demanded harshly. Demyx was the first to crack.

"OK! I confess! I was hungry and needed to eat something sweet! I-I saw the cupcakes and took them… and gave them to everyone… I-I didn't know that they were for today!" The Nocturne said and slumped his head onto the table. "And then Axel said to stall…" "Demyx!" snapped Axel. Saix immediately looked at Axel angrily. "And so Zexion spent all day in the kitchen baking up more cupcakes, that's why we ate so slowly!" The rest of the members covered their faces and groan irritably. "And," "Alright already!" the rest of them snapped. Demyx stopped talking.

All of the other members stood in the kitchen, baking. A punishment brought on them by Xemnas for making Zexion perform hard labor. All of them had to for lying. All except for Zexion and Demyx, Demyx because he admitted the truth. Axel's batch was finished. "Wow, Axel, those chocolate cupcakes look good!" Xigbar said. Axel looked at them. "They're vanilla…" he murmured. Xigbar blinked. "Oh…" he mumbled and the group laughed. This was going to be a long day…

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Please, PLEASE keep in mind that I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters! Please review and tell me what you think! Hope you liked!


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